Pretty Southern – Page 45 – Love the South

Pretty Southern

Yankee by Birth; Southern by Choice

To a New York kid like me, Southerners were defined by “The Dukes of Hazzard”.

When my Dad suggested I apply to Emory University, I thought he wanted me to learn about overnight delivery services. It only took one gorgeous weekend on Emory’s campus in 1977 (my senior year of high school) to change my life. Now, every year that spring rolls around here in late February, I feel like I stole something.

Forty years down here and I still can’t get used to daffodils in February and azaleas in March.

Emory was an overall incredible experience. I even had some fun…

Yup, that’s my college fraternity composite. I had a lot of hair at one time and I can prove it.

After I graduated from Emory (English, not air freight), I headed back north to law school at Georgetown University. Three years back within spitting distance of home and back among the kind of folks I grew up with. During my second year at Georgetown, I campaigned with everyone else for a summer clerkship at a firm that would pay me far more than I was worth for a summer of writing memos and partying.

With law school graduation approaching, I applied to firms in New York, D.C. and Atlanta (of course). Although I had offers in all three places, I went with the firm that made me feel the most welcome, Hansell Post in Atlanta. Sadly, Hansell Post isn’t around anymore, but those of a certain age will remember it was the Pepsi to King & Spalding’s Coke.

And it was as Southern as sweet tea.

My father was apoplectic when I told him that I was going to eschew my offers from firms in NYC and D.C.; to quote Dad, directly, I was about to “throw away my law degree in that backwater!” I have always put great stock in my dad’s advice. Nonetheless, down to the backwater I went and, unlike Sherman, I never left.

I don’t think of myself as a Damn Yankee. It’s my choice to be Southern.

Georgia has been my home state for decades; but, I am not a Southerner. Not by a long shot. Ask me where I’m “from” and I will invariably (and proudly) reply “New York”. Hey, if you can make it there, right?

Yet, I chose to start my family in the South.

My lovely wife, Sarah, our two kids: Brian and Alison. #GoBraves!

I met my wife here in Atlanta and my two kids were born at the “baby factory” Northside Hospital. I root for the Braves, not the Mets, use “barbecue” as a noun, not a verb, and learned that a “Coke” can be a Sprite, Dr. Pepper, or Fanta.

I have been known to throw in a “y’all” from time to time and I love to quote one of my mentors, the late Bill Gibson, who used to say that someone who was in over his head “could fuck up a two-car funeral.”

Those things are just fitting in, though; they don’t make one a southerner any more than learning not to make eye contact on the subway makes you a New Yorker.

Unlike Gerald O’Hara, I have never felt any particular love for “land”.

But, it does seem after all these years that where you’re born does define who you are. I consider myself blessed to have grown up in New York. The Met, Radio City Music Hall, Times Square, Yankee Stadium, Madison Square Garden, the Empire State Building, Wall Street, Central Park – all these icons and many, many, more were fixtures of my childhood, as familiar as breathing. I would not trade that upbringing for the world. Yet, I have lived happily in Atlanta for twice as many years as I lived in New York. Perhaps we just need to amend the old bumper sticker that used to read “American by Birth; Southern by the Grace of God” to say…

“Yankee by Birth; Southern by Choice.”

March 27, 2017
The Top 5 Differences Between the South vs. Silicon Valley

I spent the first 30 years of my life living and working in the South.

About three years ago, I relocated to the Bay Area, so now I’ve lived on the West Coast long enough to gain a sense of how life is different compared to our Southern Ways.

If you need a quick background, check out my first post about being a Southern Girl in the Silicon Valley. I also firmly believed that Southern hospitality does exist out here in California.

However, there are some big differences between life out West and back home in the South.These differences can be witnessed in both a professional setting as well as outside of work.

Here are my Top 5 differences between the South vs. Silicon Valley

1. Eating Habits

Valley folk – People are healthy in the Valley; staying in shape is almost looked upon as a basic responsibility. A mindset of taking care of oneself is an expectation as a human. If you are not responsible enough to make good decisions for your health, how can you make good decisions for the health of a company? Don’t get me wrong food is definitely valued here. But in a different way, trying fresh, healthy international foods is valued as part of being culturally aware. However, if it’s made with MSG, Gluten, lactose, carbs or sugar (I’m exaggerating slightly) then its off the list. If you find yourself at a client or work dinner, don’t be afraid to express your dietary restrictions to the wait staff as others seem to encourage positive body friendly choices.

Southerners – Conversely, if you are deciding to move to the South then get ready to loosen the belt! Finding and eating all the bad stuff for a temporary satisfaction on the tongue is part of the culture and also an expectation. In a professional setting, many times folks avoid speaking out about dietary preferences as there is a stigma of being ‘high maintenance’ or ‘choosy’ which could be taken down as judgment with your dining company. Southerners love to bond over overindulgence of ‘bad for you’ foods, it’s very common and shows up in traditional settings. With the South being the Bible Belt, it’s not uncommon to attend church on a Sunday morning and have a large lunch after with your Sunday School class, bond with your college buddies over too many Budweisers, or attend a client dinner with an excess of drinks and dessert. It is what it is: an element of bonding.

2. Cursing

Valley folk – People Curse to express passion in the Valley. Words range from bad to really bad and are dropped occasionally in SV meetings to express passion, and passion is respected.

Southerners – At some Southern companies, cursing at a meeting is looked down upon as slightly unprofessional, especially if you’re meeting the person for the first time.

3. Wardrobe as a Reflection of Career Seriousness

Valley folk – In the Valley as a generalization, energy is not ‘wasted’ on the wardrobe. Many executives wear jeans with a nice collared shirt in an effort to appeal to their casually dressed engineers, yet still dressy enough to interact with other executives. Some folks just wear the same thing everyday: literally they have a dozen of the same, identical jeans and shirts on rotate (think Steve Jobs, y’all). This is a signal that they are ‘saving their energy’ to put toward their work. Females tend to dress very casually and comfortably here as well. Women do not invest the same time and energry into their hair as in the South. And whew! That’s the real time saver!

Southerners – In the South, meaning more Southeasters, dressing up traditionally denotes the amount of effort you put into your wardrobe. Putting effort into your wardrobe seems to reflect how you would like to represent yourself. This could translate into dressing for a promotion, or lookin’ good for a night out on the town to impress your peers. You dress to be taken seriously. Hair is done, heels are worn and men tend to wear nice slacks and a blazer in the professional environment.

4. Demonstration of Leadership Legitimacy

Valley folk – In the Valley, I’ve noticed that there is ‘coolness’ that Decision makers demonstrate when presented with upsets. Decision makers don’t sweat the small stuff and tend to base their decisions on things they can actually impact. If something happens that is out of their control, they will accept it and recalculate. Those that ‘lose their cool’ are looked at as ‘out of control,’ ‘unsophisticated,’ or ‘wasting energy that could be devoted to the solution.’

Southerners – After working with many Southeastern leaders, I’ve noticed that showing emotion when something does not go your way is the norm. People get pissed easily, and when they’re mad, they feel that emotion. It’s a sign to others that you are competitive and driven to get things right.

5. A Worker’s Worth

Valley folk – In The Bay Area I have noticed that in the professional environment employers look to hire and promote individuals who are interesting; who bring passions outside of work and are willing to talk about them. For example, coworkers openly talk about what they are doing over the weekend that is social, fitness or volunteer related. It’s very socially accepted and a form of knowing the other as a human, essential to bonding which leads to higher productivity. Executives openly talk about their weekend plans and which organizations they volunteer with; sometimes interfering with work hours- it’s the idea of ‘work life integration’ that has really caught on out here, and serves to further a sense of environmental, social engagement.

Southerners – In my experience, the idea of an employee talking about recreational activities to coworkers and bosses regularly sometimes fosters the idea that the employee is not focused or serious about their work. Although an occasional conversation is accepted, there is not the encouragement on a regular basis to ‘refresh’ oneself.

What do y’all think are the biggest differences between the South and Silicon Valley?

Let us know in the comments section below.

March 22, 2017
Overheard in Savannah on St. Patrick’s Day

St. Patrick’s Day in Savannah is unlike anywhere else in the world

The St. Patrick’s Day celebration in Savannah attracts hundreds of thousands of people each year. For several days, natives of this normally graceful Southern city hide while hordes of tourists determinedly celebrate the brilliance of open container laws and Irish drinking culture.

How it began: The first year of “Overheard in Savannah,” featuring a much-younger version of me, and my awesome friends Carly and Jacqueline. We’re fuzzy but listen, phone cameras weren’t so fancy back then.

I’ve been joining the St. Patty’s party in Savannah for years, now. Begun with my friends Carly and Jacqueline in 2012, this has now evolved into an annual “girls’ trip” tradition that Carly and I never miss.

While the group of women changes a bit based on life roulette, one thing remains the same: Drunk people in public are hilarious. And should be recorded on Facebook. For, you know, posterity.

I like to think it’s really a public service.

As a recovering journalist, I often feel the need to chronicle things and share them with the world. This compulsion turns out to come in handy when you are somewhere people continually say weird things out loud.
So here, for your reading pleasure, here is a collection of the best moments from the past six year’s worth of St. Patrick’s days in the Low Country.

Here’s the best of “Overheard in Savannah”

Who hasn’t?

Okay … and how does that work out for you?

Because of course you are.

Also, can we talk about how I apparently had a Blackberry at this point in time? I was super cool, y’all.

She’s just not that into you.

When “street” meets literal street.

I hear babies are real party animals.

I like Jason.

Priorities.

You know that time.

Fair enough.

Seems breezy, but you do you.

Those boys from Omaha are sensitive types.

Science is hard, y’all.

You take me to the nicest places.

Please. I bet they’re braiding each other’s hair right now.

Well, that escalated quickly.

Please note all of the awesome photo bombers. #Respect

It’s always good to have a plan.

Dammit, Meredith, we talked about this!

I can’t decide if context would make this better.

Let’s define “slutty.”

Can you hear me?

Way to make things awkward, Janet.

How it always ends:

A little older, a lot wiser, and still getting together on St. Patrick’s Day.

March 21, 2017
13 Things Every Southerner Knows to be True about Spring

The calendar says spring starts on March 20, but I think it’s been sneaking back for the last few weeks. I’m not complaining about the unseasonably warmer temperatures, but it’s weird for spring to start appearing so early. Maybe Mother Nature is giving us a head start.

It’s time to bid adieu to winter and usher warmer temperatures, bluer skies, blossoming flowers and everything else that comes with the changing season. My mood always improves significantly when spring arrives.

When it comes to spring, there are 13 things every Southerner knows to be true.

So pretty. So full of pollen.

1. Pollen is a curse. That icky yellow stuff comes back with more of a vengeance each year. It can rain cats and dogs overnight and you’ll still wake up to a nice coat of pollen on your car. And it takes your spring allergies to a whole other level of nightmare.

2. So are mosquitoes. Nothing makes me itch like a mosquito bite. Of course I’m a magnet for the little suckers; they feast on me in the summer like it’s Thanksgiving. When the mosquitoes start biting, I know that spring has arrived and summer is just around the corner. If you have any recommendations for making mosquito bites not itch, please send them my way.

3. Magnolias and gardenias are the epitome of floral Southern beauty. Yes, roses are nice, but when these flowers bloom, my heart is full of joy. I’ll always stop to admire a towering magnolia tree or stick my nose in a gardenia plant. Nothing smells quite as sweet as freshly cut gardenias. Sunflowers are also nice, but those come later.

4. Hold the white and open-toed shoes until after Easter. Even if the calendar says “spring,” every good Southerner–or anyone with an ounce of fashion sense–knows that the white doesn’t come out until after Easter, and it goes away after Labor Day. I’ll make an exception for my Chacos sandals because they’re pretty utilitarian, but that’s it.

5. Seersucker is a staple. Whether a dress, a pair of shorts or a full suit, every Southerner needs at least one article of seersucker clothing. I’m a proud supporter of seersucker and am counting down the days until Easter when I can wear my dress again. Even on the warmest spring and hottest summer days, seersucker clothing is light as a feather and I love it.

Officially Southern. Proof that I’ve worn a floppy hat AND been to a horse race (Foxfield Races in Charlottesville, Va.).

6. Pastels are everywhere. In closets, in stores, in the garden, at the farmer’s market, at church… you name a place, and I can almost guarantee that you’ll find something pastel there.

7. Derby Parties are of utmost importance. A Southerner loves a good reason to dress up, and the Kentucky Derby is a prime opportunity to do that. I’m talking nice dresses and suits, floppy hats with giant bows (to match, of course), those fancy shoes you only break out for the most special of occasions. We have to look our best to drink mint juleps, munch on deviled eggs and watch horses run! The parties away from the actual event are just as fancy.

8. Nothing beats a good backyard or cul-de-sac cookout. When the nice weather hits, so does the insatiable desire to invite over some friends, throw some burgers on the grill and have an outside dinner party. Some of my favorite memories from my childhood are cookouts with our cul-de-sac neighbors. Back-porch dinner parties are also fun. What’s your favorite Southern summer cookout recipe?

Pretty May flowers like magnolias.

9. April showers bring the prettiest May flowers. I love a good spring thunderstorm, especially on a weekend when I don’t have anything to do and I can sit inside, wrap up in a blanket and watch it rain. I also love the flowers they bring afterward. Except that means more pollen. But pollen also means more bees, and bees make honey, so it’s all good.

10. Gardening and yard work are regular weekend activities. My parents are blessed with green thumbs, but I can hardly keep a $1 sunflower seed alive (y’all know those little seed kits in the dollar bin). That doesn’t stop me from trying, though. In the spring and summer, my dad’s favorite Sunday afternoon activity was mowing our yard. He said he planned his work presentations while mowing. Every year for Mother’s Day, we took my mom to Lowe’s or Home Depot, let her pick out her flowers, and spent the rest of the day planting them. Ours was one of the best-kept yards on our street.

11. Spring cleaning is nothing to joke about. I should be more diligent about this myself. It’s an opportunity for me to go completely Monica Geller and clean literally everything in my apartment. Spring signals a fresh start, and a clean space makes me feel ready for whatever the rest of the year (or day, or week, or month) throws my way. Spring cleaning with your windows open is an added bonus. If you just don’t have the energy to clean, you can rely on maid services to do the dirty work for you, literally. But before hiring one, it’s best to take note of details like “How often should a maid service clean your house?”.

12. Humidity. It’s almost a dirty word. After growing up in Hotlanta, I like to think I can tolerate humidity, but that doesn’t mean I like it. Stay hydrated, y’all.

13. Windows down, music up. The first day the weather is warm and nice enough, my windows are down and I’m blasting “Ocean Avenue” by Yellowcard on my drive downtown to work. When we lived in Pennsylvania, my mom and I quite enjoyed driving through back roads with the sunroof open and (the long version of) “Friends in Low Places” playing as loud as we could bear it.

I love summer in the South as much as the next person.

There’s something so lovely about Southern spring. What’s your favorite thing about spring in the South?

March 20, 2017
Southern Hospitality in Silicon Valley

“Are you from Texas?”

Any Southerner who has moved to the Bay Area and lets their accent slip gets this question. And usually, anyone who is from the South feels very compelled to specify the exact state they choose to represent. I have to correct these folks by answering, “I’m from Georgia.”

The Bay Area inquirer typically then states something vague about their experience with somewhere in the South…but we both know he/she doesn’t really get it. If they have not lived, or better yet been raised in the South, it’s just like any other place: the culture isn’t truly understood.

After I moved with the help of adtmoving.com and nearly three years living in San Francisco, commuting all over the Bay to work with super sophisticated Silicon Valley tech leaders, I’ve noticed a sincere curiosity about my Southern roots. Speaking of moving and movers, see Sky Van Lines and their services if you are in need of such services. This has compounded after the outcome of our recent election. No matter the side of the fence you reside (politics aside) it cannot be denied that there is a lack of connection and understanding. There’s a disparity in the mindset between the movers and shakers in the Valley; and those particularly in rural Southern areas. Green Van Lines Moving Company: is known to provide the best service when it comes to moving.

Silicon Valley is such a forward-thinking, innovative place. Valley residents are developing products based on empathetically crawling inside the mind of their future buyers located all over the globe, understanding how they live their lives and anticipating the needs of those consumers. I find that my contacts in the Valley were stunned that they had committed a dreadful sin. These brilliant folks thought they had understood the priorities of the rest of the country but did not truly empathetically understand them.

I bring up my perspective with regards to the election because the result has directly fueled more inquiry and interest directed to me surrounding the rural Southern culture.

The authentic interest of Silicon Valley leaders demonstrated to me that for an area so socially aware, so internationally accommodating, so sophisticated in many ways, we still have a long way to go in truly understanding each other internally as a country.

So as a Southerner working in the Valley, a place where everyone has a high degree of intellectual horsepower, I choose to represent my Southern culture in positive ways as an asset beyond the brains. Actions that would be customary in the South just aren’t expected out here.

What I’m finding out is that it’s a win-win in many ways.

By demonstrating Southern hospitality in small ways, from taking the time to show a non-local executive in from out of town the city, to showing up with a warm Chick-Fil-A biscuit for an Analyst who has just come off a red-eye headed to a meeting with my client, sending top line flowers to a client’s home for the holidays, it goes a long way within a culture who has not been exposed to real hospitality.

I feel like its my responsibility as a Southerner to represent the best of our culture while also demonstrating that it takes more than trending statistics and predictive analytics to understand a buyer. It takes anticipating their needs in a real empathetic, human way that Southerners do so well.

In a place where Design Thinking and empathy are valued so highly, I’ve found going a step beyond the intellectual empathy and demonstrating interpersonal empathy is a positive differentiator in a place where it takes more than a hoodie and coding skills to succeed.

Call it Southern hospitality in the Valley

March 14, 2017
Shuck Yeah! Oyster & Champagne Party at STK Atlanta on March 31

In honor of National Oyster on the Half Shell Day, STK Atlanta is hosting a “Shuck Yeah! Oyster & Champagne Party” in its popular bistro and lounge area from 5 – 8 p.m. on Friday, March 31.

#Nomnomnom

Featuring fresh, chef handpicked $1 oysters from the East and West Coast, partygoers are invited to enjoy a live DJ and champagne specials around the clock. Glasses of bubbly prices are as follows: $5 from 5 p.m. to 6 p.m.; $6 from 6 p.m. to 7 p.m.; and $7 from 7 p.m. to 8 p.m.

A unique concept that artfully blends the modern steakhouse and chic lounge into one, STK offers a dynamic, fine dining experience with the superior quality of a traditional steakhouse. Focusing on the social experience with a sleek, contemporary design and an in-house DJ, STK’s infectious, high-energy vibe in undeniable. The menu features reimagined classic American cuisine with signature dishes like bite-sized Lil’ BRGs made with Wagyu beef, Lobster Mac & Cheese and, of course, the highest quality steak. STK defines the modern fine dining experience with incredible food, world-class service and the perfect atmosphere.

For more information or to make a reservation, visit STK’s website or call 404.793.0144. STK Atlanta is located at 1075 Peachtree Street in Midtown Atlanta on the corner of Peachtree and 12th Streets in the 12th & Midtown development. Stay connected on Twitter and Instagram at @eatstk #stkatlanta.

March 13, 2017