Author: Lauren

  • Georgia’s “Never Been Here Before” – Rose Bowl 2018

    Georgia’s “Never Been Here Before” – Rose Bowl 2018

    Editor’s note: this article is contributed by Shane Vaiskauskas. The last time UGA played in the Rose Bowl was 1943. We won against UCLA, 9-0.

    “I’ve been here before,” I thought to myself, nervously.

    SEC Championship 2017 Mercedes Benz Stadium Atlanta #GoDawgs

    Not literally here, mind you. This was my first visit to Mercedes-Benz Stadium. But five years prior, just a few hundred feet away in the recently-demolished Georgia Dome, I had watched the Georgia Bulldogs carry a one-score lead into the fourth quarter of the SEC Championship Game against Alabama.

    Here I sat, in the upper end zone corner, in a seat I paid $700 for, as the clock expired in the third quarter of the SEC Championship Game. Auburn had converted a third down, then gained 12 more yards on a QB run. We led 13-7 as the quarter ended.

    “I’ve been here before,” I repeated to myself, trying to avoid getting my hopes up.

    The band played “The Planet Krypton” as they have in the fourth quarter of every Georgia game I can remember. The fans turned on their cell phone flashes to light up the stadium as they have since last season.

    “I’ve been here before,” I repeated to myself, tuning out the fans around me, discussing defensive adjustments and how we just need to finish out the game.

    The whistle blew to start the fourth quarter. The players lined up. A handoff to Auburn’s injured star tailback, Kerryon Johnson. From perhaps a literal mile away, it looks all too easy for Johnson to gain 4 yards. The defense finally makes the tackle. We see the ball squirm out. Roquan Smith, Georgia’s star linebacker, sees it too. He scoops it up in stride. Turnover. Four plays later, we score a touchdown.

    I’ve never been here before.

    Georgia would go on to hold Auburn to a 3-and-out, then add another touchdown a few plays later to ice the game with over 10 minutes remaining. Auburn fans head to the exits. The score would not change again: 28-7.

    I’ve never been here before.

    After the game, the team is presented the SEC Championship trophy on the field. The majority of the stadium–Georgia fans–stays behind to watch. By winning the SEC Championship, Georgia has guaranteed a spot in the College Football Playoff. We’re two games away from our first national championship since the 1980 season.

    I’ve never been here before.

    UGA-Clemson-2014-Sanford-Stadium
    UGA’s Sanford Stadium at the 2014 Clemson game that we won 45-21.

    Georgia is a storied college football program. We are one of the sport’s so-called blue bloods, whose relevance in the sport has rarely waned. We have a large stadium, a rabid fan base, plenty of 10-win seasons and bowl victories, and a raft of players in the NFL. There are over a hundred major college football programs that would trade places with us in a heartbeat.

    In the past 20 years, prior to this season, we had won the SEC and the Sugar Bowl twice each. We’ve had a #1 preseason ranking, a #2 final ranking, the #1 overall pick in the NFL draft and plenty of first-round talent. We’ve been a perennial top-10 team, but we never broke through to the national championship conversation.

    And yet, we’re still very much the outsiders. Our best, most exciting teams of the past two decades have all stumbled at the wrong time.

    In 2002, our 13-1 record was good enough for third. Ohio State and Miami, both undefeated, played each other for the championship.

    In 2005, our two losses kept us firmly out of the picture, despite winning the SEC.

    In 2007, an inexplicable loss on the road to Tennessee cost us our spot in the SEC Championship Game, and with it, our chance for immortality. We finished the season ranked second. In 2012, we were four yards away from beating Alabama. They went on to throttle Notre Dame and win it all. It was their hundredth title, probably.

    I’ve never been here before.

    Five SEC teams have won national championships in the past 20 years. Georgia isn’t among them. Our rivals are happy to remind us. Analysts are happy to remind viewers. We’re a perennial also-ran, a team too good to ignore entirely but not good enough to believe in. Our fanbase is large, loyal, and loud, but our bark is worse than our bite.

    Deep down, this has been a sneaking suspicion, my quietest fear. What if we never win? What if all of the time, money, and passion I’ve put into this team never amounts to anything? What if four yards short against Bama is the closest I will ever see? I’ve already witnessed 30 fruitless football seasons, how many more do I have left?

    Do I dare get my hopes up?

    I’ve never been here before.

    UGA-LSU College Game Day ESPN Athens
    ESPN College Game Day from the UGA-LSU game in 2013. We won 44-41

    Over the past few weeks, Georgia has gained momentum in the national college football conversation. Countless networks covered our practices and provided updates not just to fans, but to casual observers. Analysts break down our film and compare our strengths and weaknesses to the other playoff teams. Two-by-two, the rest of the country played their bowl games. Their seasons will end short of where we are right now, and then they will turn their attention to the four playoff teams remaining. To the Georgia Bulldogs. To my team.

    They’ll talk about how our defense reads and reacts so well, how our front-seven are so adept at stopping the run, and how Roquan Smith is a field general at middle linebacker. They’ll talk about our freshman quarterback, Jake Fromm, who never seems to let the moment be too big for him. They’ll talk about our senior tailbacks, Nick Chubb and Sony Michel, who chose to return to school for a shot at a championship instead of getting rich in the NFL. They’ll talk about our charismatic young coach, Kirby Smart, who played for Georgia in the 90’s and has his alma mater back to national relevance in only his second season.

    The entire country now knows about this team what Georgia fans hoped would prove true all year: that we belong here. That it was worth it. That pledging your heart to something as pointless and capricious as a football team can someday deliver an emotional payoff, even at the University of Georgia.

    I’ve never been here before.

    We’ve traveled to Pasadena, CA, to play Oklahoma in the Rose Bowl. That may be where the season ends. On the biggest stage I’ve ever seen Georgia play, we may suffer through yet another disappointment. This season’s Dawgs, like so many before them, may be left to limp home after a heartbreaking reminder that we still do not yet belong.

    But we might not. We might beat Oklahoma and advance to the title game a week later. We might even win that and be memorialized for all time as the best team of 2017. In my lifetime, we’ve never played for such high stakes on such a large stage.

    UGA SEC Championship 2017

    At the end of the SEC Championship festivities, before we filed out into the concourse with the other Georgia fans, I sat back in my seat, closed my eyes, and sat in silence for 30 seconds. Then I pinched myself. This time, it was really happening.

    I’ve never been here before. But I’m going to enjoy the hell out of this ride.

    Go Dawgs!

    Shane Vaiskauskas UGA SEC Championship 2017
    Shane Vaiskauskas is a management consultant who lives in New York City with his wife and their growing collection of board games. Shane grew up outside of Atlanta and, after the better part of a decade, graduated from the University of Georgia in 2009. He hosts a moderately popular Dungeons & Dragons podcast called Total Party Thrill, and tweets about sports and other meaningless games, @Mundangerous. Shane is pictured here with his sister, Caitlin Vaiskauskas, and best bud Jeff Putnam.

  • 2017 – A Pretty Southern Year in Review

    2017 – A Pretty Southern Year in Review

    We here at Pretty Southern proclaimed 2017 would be the Year of the Warrior

    Murica-USA-Freedom-1st-Amedment-#YearoftheWarrior
    Little did we know that the fight is only getting started. If there’s one common feeling we can all share as this weird and wonky year comes to a close, it’s how we all questioned our identity this year. Who we are, what it means to be an American, our place in this world…questions we’ll probably continue to ask throughout out our lifetime.

    Despite all the negativity in the world, our future is still very bright.

    We got the phrase “Year of the Warrior” from our pal, Michelle Khouri. She created her own adventure in 2017, leaving her full-time gig as a magazine editor to pursue independence as a freelancer. Watching from the sidelines as Michelle has pursued her passions has been awesome, and I’m rooting for her just like I am you, dear reader.

    And while we’ve all had our own wild rides in 2017, as frustrated as we may feel about some of the things that happened this year, Michelle has more words of wisdom for our future.

    2016 was the year of the caterpillar
    2017 was the year of the cocoon
    2018 will be the year of the butterfly

    Y’all dig that?! I certainly do.

    Since college, I’ve always been a fan of writing ‘year in review’ posts. They are such a fun way to recap highlights from the past year, preserve memories, and reflect on tougher times.

    When I sat down to write this post, I wanted to give a big ole “Fuck you!” to 2017. There was a lot of shit that went down this year y’all. My cousin, Paisley Rosas Langmeade, was killed by her husband, who then killed himself. It devastated our family, especially since they were both only in their 30s.
    Paisley Rosas Langmeade

    R.I.P. Paisley. We love you and will always miss you. 

    Coming to grips with the fact there was nothing we could have done to prevent what happened to Paisley is still an impossible pill to swallow. Then there’s all the other insanity happening in the world that makes me feel so helpless. Terrorism, genocide, mass shootings, the evil lunatics who rule our world. Dave Chappelle said that North Korea would be our generation’s Vietnam, and I’m pretty sure he’s right.

    But then I remembered my mama’s words she told me after Trump got elected. Mom told me to think about how I can leverage all the goodness I have to be a positive force for change. There’s so much about this world I want to see improved upon, and if there’s one thing that 2017 taught me, it’s that we all are capable of anything if we put our mind, heart, and soul into it. I’m a firm believer of Gandhi’s quote:

    “Be the change you want to see in the world.”

    With that, I want to take a moment to recap some very cool moments of 2017.

    Atlanta Pretty Southern Terminus

    I Became Atlanta

    For a brief time this year, I was Atlanta. Thanks to Chris Watkins for letting me be part of the Atlanta Convention & Visitor’s Bureau’s #DiscoverATL campaign, this photo we shot together on the Jackson Street bridge overlooking downtown actually became the first image in Google’s search results for “Atlanta”.

    Pretty Southern Atlanta

     

    And that same photo was featured on the side of a MARTA bus. There was a Friday afternoon back in the summer when I was leaving work for the weekend. This summer was awful after losing Paisley and it was a particularly rough week. I’m sitting in the car heading home and this MARTA bus rolled by with my picture on it. I’d heard about these buses rolling around town with friends sharing pictures on social media, but it was the first time I’d seen it in-person!
    Atlanta MARTA #DiscoverATL

    I’m not trying to be an asshole and brag about this stuff—it just seemed like a message from the universe saying, “Girl, you’re doing the right things. Keep it up!” Lord, at least I hope so.

    Atlanta Power Couple

    Speaking of doing the right things 😉 On Valentine’s Day, my husband, Kevin, and I were named one of Atlanta’s Startup Power Couples by Hypepotamus. Getting to work in the up-and-coming world of Atlanta’s tech startups has been an absolute gift from God. If you’d asked me 10 years ago when I was first out of school what I wanted to do, marketing for startups never would have crossed my mind! It’s lead to some other pretty cool opportunities.

    Mastermind Your Launch Business Radio X

    It’s been a pleasure and a privilege to get to know Stefanie Diaz this year. We first met when she interviewed me on her show Mastermind Your Launch on BusinessRadio X (replay here) and then Stefanie launched the Women’s Only Entrepreneurs (W.O.E) network here in Atlanta. Stef—girl—you’re doing amazing work and it’s been a blessing getting to know you.

    Atlanta Media Blogger

    There were so many other amazing moments from this year, too many for one blog post, but I’d be remiss if I didn’t give a shoutout to all the Atlanta media mavens out there, especially Caren West PR and her team: Chad, Lauren, and Caitlin. The folks at CWPR hosted the best events of 2017. From happy hours at Atlas at The St. Regis, charcuterie and cocktails with Maureen Petrovsky at City Winery, the Urban Daddy party, and my all-time favorite charity fashion show Jeffrey Fashion Cares, I’m so excited to see what 2018 has in store.

    And if you wanna hear more from my sassy ass, check out my first (probably only) standup routine.

    Pretty Southern Stand Up Comedy Atlanta The Punchline

    So to officially close out the Year of the Warrior, I have to say thank you

    Thank you, reader, for being part of the Pretty Southern story. Thank you for following along with our adventures over the past few years. Thank you for your support and always being there to help. We’re here for you and here to help change our world.

    We’ll see y’all in 2018. Have a blessed and happy new year.

     

     

  • Pretty Southern Stand Up Comedy at The Punchline in Atlanta

    Pretty Southern Stand Up Comedy at The Punchline in Atlanta

    Pretty Southern was privileged to be part of the inaugural Laugh Lab!

    Laugh Lab Lace Larabee The Punchline Atlanta

    Whoever thought my sassy ass would actually be a standup comic?!

    This comedy course by the lovely (and hilarious!) Lace Larabee was the first one ever! Lace is seriously one of the funniest comics working in the game today, especially as a Southern woman. Taking a six-week class with Lace for ladies only laughs and lessons in comedy was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made, and one of the coolest things I’ve ever done in Atlanta.

    Along with my fellow Laugh Lab ladies including Lace, Danielle Elkins, Rita Nicole Leslie, Lauren Wagner, Ryan Petty, Blaire Erskine, Sammy Eastwood, Jennifer Winkler, Dru Forster, Brittany Dent, Rhonda Turner, and the incomparable Chesta Drake, we did our final standup at The Punchline in Atlanta.

    Check out my first (and most likely only) Pretty Southern stand up comedy set

    Here’s the full transcription of my Pretty Southern standup

    Hey y’all
    Having fun yet?
    So Rhonda asked y’all who is from Atlanta
    Well, I’m not originally from this city
    I was born in Virginia and grew up in Cobb County
    Unlike the Braves, I can say actually say I’m from Atlanta
    Because I live inside the perimeter
    Also if you Google search for Atlanta
    My photo used to come up

    Now don’t go pulling out your phones; this is a comedy club.
    But earlier this year, if you Googled “Atlanta” my picture was the first image
    I had my arms outstretched overlooking the Jackson Street bridge Downtown
    And that same photo ended up on the side of a Marta Bus
    It was one of the few times in my life my family has truly been proud of me
    I guess they were happy to see me on Google and the side of a bus
    Instead of in a mug shot or on the side of a milk carton

    My parents are so perfectly Southern
    They met at a fraternity party in college
    Got married at a country club
    Moved to the suburbs, did all the right things
    Then they had me, and I was born a raging liberal.
    It must be a recessive gene.

    One of my uncles nicknamed me the ‘lil liberal’ of our family
    Growing up I wanted to be one of those kids on Captain Planet,
    I used to wear those “save the whales” and “save the rainforest” t-shirts
    Now, if I try to talk about climate change, they hope I mean going on vacation
    Ladies aren’t supposed to discuss these uncomfortable topics

    I’ve never been the perfect Southern Belle
    The good news is, my husband’s family is from Illinois, and the first time I met his grandpa, he said I was a nice young lady with good manners
    I wasn’t going to tell grandpa any differently.

    My husband is here tonight! He and I have been married for seven years now!
    He’s the handsome redhead over there!
    This Halloween, he started growing his hair out to be Tormund, the Wilding, from Game of Thrones. He really nailed that costume, plus he’s still growing his hair out
    After nearly a decade together, it’s like I’m with a whole new person!
    When we first started dating, he’d never really grown a beard. Now, I’ve got myself a ginger lumberjack.
    And you know, I did something similar. When we first started dating, I looked a bit like Anne Hathaway. After 10 years, I might look Anne Hathaway if she’d been eating bacon and chic-fil-a for a decade

    I’ve always had a thing for gingers
    Growing up, I had a crush on Prince Harry
    He and I are about the same age,
    And I got so excited when Harry’s engagement was announced.
    I love that he found a nice American girl
    Since I was already taken

    Although I would have fit in so well with Harry’s family
    I adore Kate Middleton
    Who I might also resemble if I hadn’t spent a lifetime of eating bacon and Chick FIl A
    Duchess Kate is classy, y’all. She’s seriously my dad style icon.
    And you know that saying, blondes have more fun
    Well they might, but brunettes get to be princesses

    Unfortunately, I would not have made a great royal
    I can’t follow protocol for shit.
    I’m entirely too outspoken
    You know I how at some funerals and in obituaries, they write about how “she never had a mean word to say about anybody?”
    That’s not me. I’d love to be a grand old dame, like Clairee from Steel Magnolias (has anybody seen that movie?)
    Clairee has one of my favorite lines of all time, “If you can’t say something nice, come sit by me.”

    Well, since I have the microphone, I’d like to take the opportunity to edit that line slightly for the President of the United States
    If you can’t say something nice, then don’t fucking Tweet it.

    That’s one thing Trump and I actually have in common
    We’re both entirely too outspoken and can’t follow protocol for shit

    Even before Trump rose to power
    My family felt like they couldn’t talk about politics with me
    The past year has been interesting to say the least
    To say the most, I was fucking right

    But for me, it’s never been about being a liberal or conservative
    I just want to make the world a better place
    The irony is, as much as I want to save the planet
    I’m a hypocrite because I drive an SUV
    But I live in Atlanta.
    And I’ll be damned if I die driving on 400 in some dainty hybrid
    Then get run over by an asshole redneck in a pickup truck with a Make America Great Again sticker

    The whole MAGA thing is just dumb
    America is already great y’all
    I’ve lived here my whole life, and yes, this country has its problems but we have bacon and Chick-Fil-A!

    Here’s the thing about the evil men who rule the world
    They want to divide and conquer us.
    They want us to feel inadequate, different, ugly, and hated
    But we know better

    We’re stronger, smarter, and dammit we will change our world

    Happy holidays, y’all. Let’s go kick ass in 2018!

    Pretty Southern Stand Up Comedy Atlanta The Punchline
    What are your thoughts on my first Pretty Southern stand up? Let me know your thoughts in the comments section below!

  • Josh Wakefield – A Most Beautiful Atlantan

    Josh Wakefield – A Most Beautiful Atlantan

    Josh Wakefield was named to JEZEBEL Magazine’s Most Beautiful Atlantans for 2017

    Most Beautiful Atlanta Josh Wakefield
    Josh poses with Michelle Stegall and Erin Alvey for JEZEBEL’s Most Beautiful Atlantans

    Quick disclaimer: I’ve had a blast getting to know Josh over the past 18 months. We work together at Terminus, one of the fastest growing startups in Atlanta. Josh is also a fellow University of Georgia grad (#GoDawgs!) and we were part of the same program at the UGA Grady College of Journalism & Mass Communication.

    We were all so excited to see Josh making JEZEBEL’s Most Beautiful Atlantans for 2017, especially since he’s only 24!

    Josh Wakefield Krog Street Bridge Atlanta

    Josh poses under the Krog Street bridge in Atlanta

    Josh was born in Atlanta and then moved to Chattanooga, Tenn., when he was a kid. He’s the epitome of a gentleman and a shining representation of Southern hospitality at his finest. Josh, if your folks are reading this post, they did an amazing job 🙂

    Recently, Josh did a photo shoot in Atlanta with photographer John Paul Van Wert. Josh was kind enough to pen a few words about his Pretty Southern life and why he loves Atlanta.

    josh wakefield downtown atlanta "made in the south"

    “Since birth, Atlanta has always been in my blood.”

    Even after moving to Tennessee as a young kid, I always found myself back in the ATL. After graduating from the University of Georgia Atlanta was at the top of my list of cities to start my career. What better time is there to move to the “Hollywood of the South”?

    Atlanta Isn't Perfect Sign Downtown Josh Wakefield

    To quote Drake “I’m just more ready than petty nowadays”. This is an era where we are more “young and in control” than ever.

    The city is booming with new developments, new young talent, new everything! There are so many opportunities here to help young professionals like myself become titans of industry.

    Take my company Terminus’s fearless leader & CEO Eric Spett. He seized the opportunities created by the city and his network within it and found his niche. Now he is the CEO at one of the top 10 places to work in Atlanta at the age of 29.

    Josh Wakefield Atlanta graffiti

    “The possibilities in this great city of Atlanta are endless.”

    Speaking of endless, there’s an insane number of dope activities you can get into because the ATL is always bumpin’.

    You could go Downtown and see live music at the Tabernacle, or grab a coffee from Switchyards Club (where the “Atlanta isn’t perfect” & “Made with soul in Atlanta” signs are) and take a walk around Olympic park right down the street for a more chill vibe. Not too mention watch the most exciting teams in the country play in Mercedes Benz Stadium and Phillips Arena a couple blocks over.

    Downtown Atlanta patio Josh Wakefield

    You could catch a ride over to Krog Street (graffiti picture) for some cool art, or walk across the Jackson Street bridge (skyline picture) to catch an incredible view of the city skyline.

    Visit the Virginia Highlands, Buckhead, Decatur, Midtown; boredom doesn’t exist in this city. Just like Terminus’s former office location, an incubator known as the Atlanta Tech Village, ATL is an incubator as well creating jobs and experiences for the personal improvements of its citizens.

    Jackson Street Bridge Atlanta skyline Josh Wakefield

    No matter where my life takes me I will always be in love with the city of Atlanta and all of the people in it.

    What do you find most beautiful about Atlanta? Let us know in the comments section below!

  • Rural Georgia, Liberal Millennials, Donald Trump, and THE THING IN THE WOODS

    Rural Georgia, Liberal Millennials, Donald Trump, and THE THING IN THE WOODS

    Editor’s note: this article is contributed by Matt Quinn, author of THE THING IN THE WOODS

    The Thing in the Woods

    The state of Georgia, where my teen Lovecraftian horror novel The Thing in the Woods takes place, is often depicted as split between metro Atlanta and everywhere else. The 2016 presidential election reflected this, with Clinton being the first Democrat to win Henry County since 1980 and the first to win Cobb and Gwinnett since 1976, but Donald Trump carrying the non-metropolitan areas. The 2016 election was also, at least in part, a generational conflict. A significant chunk of Donald Trump’s support came from older, more traditionalist people who disliked recent cultural and economic changes. Fears of “cultural displacement” motivated members of the white working class to vote for a man one would think resembles a particularly boorish boss instead of a champion of the little guy. A great many self-identified Christians supported Trump despite his history of grossly un-Christian behavior for much the same reason. Four characters in Thing, three villains and one whose ultimate choice I can’t discuss for reasons of spoilers, reflect many of these issues.

    On the other hand, the Democrats dominated the younger vote. Millennials are much more diverse racially than Baby Boomers,  also much less likely to be Christians (or members of any faith for that matter), much more open to interracial relationships and homosexuality, and, finally, are less likely to serve in the military and less open to flashy overt patriotism than their elders.  Speaking as someone who used to live and work where metro Atlanta overlapped Middle Georgia and who currently lives in Atlanta proper, “millennial liberalism” (and millennials in general) are more common in-town or in cities like Athens than in the rural regions, even the suburbanizing ones, where Thing takes place. Trump’s electoral victory has been described as a backlash from the older generation of Americans against a rising “coalition of the ascendant” that’s more ethnically diverse, more secular, etc., and this seems to be what happened in Georgia as well as the wider nation. The male and female lead of Thing are members of this coalition, which is reflected in their characterization.

    This generational and urban-rural conflict is reflected in Edington, Georgia, a fictional town near real-life Senoia, where the gruesome events of Thing go down. Although Henry County supported Clinton, nearby Coweta (where Senoia is located) and Spalding Counties went for Trump quite hard. Here are the six combatants in this conflict and how they break down…

    *Phil Davidson – Phil is the (human) antagonist of Thing. He’s a decorated Marine junior officer from the Vietnam War (good), the owner of a local barbecue restaurant (good), and the high priest of the local Lovecraftian cult (very bad). He still despises hippies and although not personally racist (he disdains “white trash” who stirred up “racial crap” in the Army during the war), he’s an authoritarian who murdered civil-rights activists for the previous high priest. He finds Borat and Bruno disgusting, not from religious opposition to homosexual behavior (alien horrors don’t mind such things), but due to his old-fashioned ideas of masculinity and propriety. Although there’s much to admire about his devotion to his nation, community (he pays above-market wages to his employees to support the local economy even though this harms his competitiveness), his support for having children after marriage and not before, and his disdain for overly-permissive parenting, his murderous authoritarianism rather dwarfs that.

    If he voted in 2016, he would have despised Trump as a draft dodger and a man prone to dishonoring women, but he would also view Clinton as the avatar for all the cultural and economic  forces he abhors. He would have voted for a business type like Marco Rubio, Jeb Bush, or Chris Christie in the Republican primary or even fellow Vietnam veteran Jim Webb in the Democratic, held his nose for Trump in the general and wished he could feed him to the titular Thing with every obnoxious Tweet.

    *Sam Dixon – A private soldier during the 1991 Gulf War, he’s in his 40s and works at the local sheet metal factory. He’s part of the cult headed by Phil, but he’s not ruthless and overbearing like Phil, nor cruel and racist like Deputy Bowie or Jeffrey Reed (we’ll get to them later). For example, his basic empathy (and the abuses he’d seen against Pakistani guest workers in the Persian Gulf) leads him to reject the latter’s prejudices against Indians. However, he’s also a Baptist (despite also being in the cult) and takes pride in his military service, so he’d likely vote for Trump for the same reason many Christians and veterans did despite not approving of Trump’s obnoxious behavior.

    *Deputy Charles Bowie – One of the cult’s enforcers, a deputy in the county sheriff’s office who’s in his 50s or 60s. A rural white cop who begins the story by kidnapping a homeless African-American to be sacrificed, he’s not going to be a fan of stronger state or federal oversight of local police forces and he’s going to want the Sheriff’s Office to have all the high-powered goodies it could get its hands on. He’s going to vote for Trump based on police-officer tribalism with a helping of white tribalism and straight-up racism, although his helping isn’t nearly as big as Jeffrey Reed.

    *Jeffrey Reed – Another cult enforcer, he’s around Sam’s age and works at a gas station. He’s even more authoritarian than Phil, is extremely racist, and solves the congregation’s problems by murdering them. If Phil is Don Corleone, Reed is Luca Brasi. The fact Clinton was essentially the minority-group candidate would be enough for him to vote for Trump. Low as he is on the socioeconomic ladder, he might also be concerned about job competition from immigrants, although given who owns and operates large numbers of gas stations, he’s probably employed by one.

    *Amber Webb – The female lead of Thing and a high school senior. In terms of social class she’s small-town bourgeoisie like Phil (to whom she’s actually distantly related) rather than working-class like Bowie, Sam, or Reed. She’s also a devout Methodist, so demographics would tilt her toward conservatism. However, unlike other members of her small-town girl posse, she has no objection to interracial relationships and she’s in the community theater, which is probably more liberal than the wider town. Furthermore, she probably empathizes with Hillary Clinton as a woman who could become president and, given how her jerk-jock ex pressured her into sex in the recent past, she probably despises Trump. I imagine in the primaries she would have supported somebody more moderate like Marco Rubio, Ben Carson, Jeb Bush, or John Kasich, been tempted to vote for Clinton, and probably left the presidential section of the ballot blank like somebody I know who didn’t like Trump but didn’t want taxes raised.

    *James Daly – The male lead of Thing and also a high-school senior. James hails from Buckhead, the wealthier white section of Atlanta proper, and he was in the Boy Scouts. However, although he’d call himself a Christian, of those listed he’s the least religious. His close friend from Atlanta is Jewish, he isn’t bothered by two of his Atlanta-transplant friends being in an interracial relationship (Indian boy, white girl), and part of his disdain for Edington is based on the (false) assumption the residents are all racists. However, much of his attitude is driven by class prejudice against Edington’s “rednecks.” He’d be a toss-up, but of all the characters listed he probably be the most likely to vote for Clinton, especially given how he’s a protective big brother to his younger sister and Trump’s attitudes speak for themselves. Buckhead, after all, went for Clinton, and the pro-Trump areas nearby were pretty narrow wins for him.

    Matt Quinn The Thing in the Woods

    So although I intended The Thing in the Woods simply as a Georgia horror tale, the context in which it was written (off and on 2007-2014) and set (2010) play a major role in the characterization. And although I was not aware at the time, that context would soon become extremely, extremely important.

    Matthew W. Quinn is a longtime journalist and social studies teacher currently living in Atlanta. You can purchase The Thing in the Woods on Amazon and sign up for his newsletter here.

  • A Prayer for Georgia vs. Florida #GoDawgs

    A Prayer for Georgia vs. Florida #GoDawgs

    Editor’s note: we’re thrilled to have Royce Smith, Jr., son of UGA All-American Royce Smith (who played for Vince Dooley) guest blog on Pretty Southern. Now onto the prayer. Let’s Go Dawgs!

    Dear Little Holy Savior watching over your heavenly fields,

    Lord, everyone knows you live where the angel Ugas roam because all dogs go to heaven, and no one ever said that about gators.
    Royce Smith UGA Georgia vs. Florida #GoDawgs #UGAvsUF

    I feel like the first seven games of the season are a distant memory after our bye week. It’s almost like the real season is about to begin today in Jacksonville!

    Baby Jesus, I have to confess the Munson in me is saying there’s no way our Bulldogs can stay focused and fired up today—that we are just bound to trip up and lose. But then I remember you brought the prodigal son Kirby back home to the Holy Land and my heart fills with joy.

    Kirby left home to dance with the Devil in Alabama and learned all his tricks!

    Now Coach Smart (because he really is) will use them for your glory and bring the people of Athens what they have truly been longing for: a Championship!! GO DAWGS!!!

    Tiny Lord, those creatures from the swamp are coming ashore on the banks of the St. John’s River and it’s our job to send them back to that dirty lil’ hole in Gainesville.
    Florida Gator Hate

    Gators are gross! Courtesy of our Pretty Southern contributor, Mandy Morgan.

    Florida’s coach, Jim McElwain is just about to lose it. After that whole shark incident over the summer and his players suspended for credit card fraud, can you blame him? Listening to him talk this week is almost as bad as Butch Jones! He can barely hold a press conference without blurting out some nonsense about death threats.

    Obviously, there is fear in Coach McElwain’s heart because he knows what is coming down the track, it’s the mean machine in red and black! Kirby is driving your train down from the Classic City, and it’s full of some of the strongest warriors in the land!

    Georgia rush filed Jacksonville 2007 #UGAvsUF #GoDawgs

    Throwback to Georgia vs. Florida in 2007 when the Bulldogs rushed the field in Jacksonville.

    Your Disciples in Silver Britches are eager to end this three-year plague of the gators. May you keep our lines strong, the backs hungry for your touchdown glory, and Fromm’s arm well oiled! Allow our defense to show no mercy on these filthy reptiles. Watch over Coach Kirby and the team with your commanding spirit.

    UGA Coach Erk Russell

    Another throwback to UGA coach Erk Russell who started the mantra “Junkyard Dawgs”

    Also, I’ll go ahead and ask for forgiveness for the property damage that will happen tonight!

    As always, Little Sovereign Savior, may the first down chains move like your spirit and let the bell ring back in Athens, tonight!!!
    Royce Smith UGA Dori Broome Smith Jacksonville #UGAvsUF

    One last throwback to Royce and his lovely wife, Dori, in Jacksonville. Talk about a match made in heaven!

    Lord, let us roll over the Gators, truly drain the swamp, and keep marching on to an SEC Championship!

    Amen and Go DAWGS!!!