Editor’s note: we’re thrilled to have Royce Smith, Jr., son of UGA All-American Royce Smith (who played for Vince Dooley) guest blog on Pretty Southern. Now onto the prayer. Let’s Go Dawgs!

Dear Little Holy Savior watching over your heavenly fields,

Lord, everyone knows you live where the angel Ugas roam because all dogs go to heaven, and no one ever said that about gators.

I feel like the first seven games of the season are a distant memory after our bye week. It’s almost like the real season is about to begin today in Jacksonville!

Baby Jesus, I have to confess the Munson in me is saying there’s no way our Bulldogs can stay focused and fired up today—that we are just bound to trip up and lose. But then I remember you brought the prodigal son Kirby back home to the Holy Land and my heart fills with joy.

Kirby left home to dance with the Devil in Alabama and learned all his tricks!

Now Coach Smart (because he really is) will use them for your glory and bring the people of Athens what they have truly been longing for: a Championship!! GO DAWGS!!!

Tiny Lord, those creatures from the swamp are coming ashore on the banks of the St. John’s River and it’s our job to send them back to that dirty lil’ hole in Gainesville.

Gators are gross! Courtesy of our Pretty Southern contributor, Mandy Morgan.

Florida’s coach, Jim McElwain is just about to lose it. After that whole shark incident over the summer and his players suspended for credit card fraud, can you blame him? Listening to him talk this week is almost as bad as Butch Jones! He can barely hold a press conference without blurting out some nonsense about death threats.

Obviously, there is fear in Coach McElwain’s heart because he knows what is coming down the track, it’s the mean machine in red and black! Kirby is driving your train down from the Classic City, and it’s full of some of the strongest warriors in the land!

Throwback to Georgia vs. Florida in 2007 when the Bulldogs rushed the field in Jacksonville.

Your Disciples in Silver Britches are eager to end this three-year plague of the gators. May you keep our lines strong, the backs hungry for your touchdown glory, and Fromm’s arm well oiled! Allow our defense to show no mercy on these filthy reptiles. Watch over Coach Kirby and the team with your commanding spirit.

Another throwback to UGA coach Erk Russell who started the mantra “Junkyard Dawgs”

Also, I’ll go ahead and ask for forgiveness for the property damage that will happen tonight!

As always, Little Sovereign Savior, may the first down chains move like your spirit and let the bell ring back in Athens, tonight!!!

One last throwback to Royce and his lovely wife, Dori, in Jacksonville. Talk about a match made in heaven!

Lord, let us roll over the Gators, truly drain the swamp, and keep marching on to an SEC Championship!

Amen and Go DAWGS!!!

Dear 8 lb 9 oz Darling Deity,

Oh God, thank you for the University of Georgia and the city of Athens. You truly designed Heaven on Earth.

 
Lord, because you are all-knowing, you know what was in this angsty girl’s heart struggling growing up as a kid who never quite fit in. While I foolishly thought I should go out of state for college, you heavenly Father knew what was in my best interest (like you always do).

 
Alpha & Omega, you showed the grace for which makes you God and blessed me with admittance to the glorious institution that is UGA. For that, Lord, I am eternally grateful. Thank you for blessing me as a Georgia Bulldog…and my sister, Mandy too.

 
Thank you, sweet Jesus, for blessing me with so many fine college friends who have become lifelong Bulldog buddies.

 
Today, Jesus, your faithful worshippers make the annual pilgrimage to Athens for Homecoming. We are truly fortunate to have this opportunity to come home, Lord.

 
Athens is one of the most beautiful places in the South. Despite everything going on in this crazy world, we can forget our troubles for one day and simply enjoy being home.

And Lord, we cannot say thank you enough for our 2017 season thus far. 6-0, sweet Jesus! You have lifelong Georgia fans who can barely recall times this good for our Dawgs.

Thank you for giving us Kirby Smart, and all our boys in the silver britches.

We sure are proud of this Bulldog football team, God. Please keep our boys safe against Missouri. Considering our luck with Mizzou before (and having botched Homecoming games in the past) some fans may have had trepidation about facing the Tigers in the past. Lord, we all know this year is different.

Identity from Georgia Football on Vimeo.

On this Homecoming, we sing glory, glory to ole Georgia. Thank you for your countless blessings and all the goodness of the Classic City.

Amen and Go Dawgs!

 

Editor’s note: we’re thrilled to have Royce Smith, Jr., son of UGA All-American Royce Smith (who played for Vince Dooley) guest blog on Pretty Southern. Now onto the prayer. Let’s Go Dawgs!

Royce’s wife and kids on Vandy’s field. It sure ain’t Sanford Stadium

Dear Mighty Creator of the Pigskin and Precious Protector of the Hedges,

First off, what a game last week! I believe our boys exorcised some demons on those Volunteers. We broke their nose in 2001, but last Saturday we broke their spirit. Old Smokey didn’t even get close enough to sniff the end zone! I just know you will forgive them for all that orange Baby Jesus, but if not, maybe a sacrificial offering of Butch Jones will do the trick? I know sacrifices aren’t really your thing anymore, but just throwing out an idea!

This year’s team is really on a roll and I’m reminded of a Psalm from your good book: “Through You we will push back our adversaries; Through Your name we will trample down those who rise up against us.” How ‘bout them DAWGS!! If you to bet on your teams, sites like online wedden would allow you to do it with the ease of convenience.

Well Great Provider, today we continue our march through the state of Tennessee, next stop Nashville. You know Little Savior, where the lost Commodores are still looking for the ocean pretending to play football this year? Speaking of Commodores, did you know what we call a Commodore now? Yes, I giggle too, when I say it out loud. A Rear Admiral Lower Half! I guess it’s only fitting seeing those ‘Dores are the gatekeepers to the lower half of the SEC.

I understand you are showing pity on Vandy by making this a noon game. Good call, Wise Infant Ruler! Best to go ahead and get this over with. With your guidance, I know Chubb and Sony will pave the way for our offense and I pray you continue to put ice in the veins of our defense. Let our quarterbacks be true with their spirals and our kicker split the upright with ease. Fill General Kirby with the fire and guidance of your Holy Spirit so he will have YOUR team raring to go!

As always, Little Sovereign Savior, may the first down chains move like your spirit and let the bell ring back in Heav- I mean Athens, tonight!!

Amen and Go DAWGS!!

Dear 8lb, 9oz smallest quarterback of the Universe and the only acceptable ruler with tiny hands,

 
Well howdy, Jesus! Can we get a HEAVEN YEAH! for that game last weekend?! Woo! The Dawgs are on top this season, Lordlet, and I hope it has a lot to do with our conversations! You can definitely let Aaron Murray know that he ain’t s…I mean, that he was wrong about picking those other Bulldogs. Thank ya for that W.

Today, our Mean Machines have traveled all the way to Knoxville to take on those ol’ Tennessee Volunteers.

Once again, Jesus, a team with an identity crisis. They’re volunteers because Tennessee sent a bunch of volunteer soldiers in the War of 1812. I MEAN, GET WITH THE TIMES, AM I RIGHT? Then they’ve got some hound dog named Smokey and a Phish song as their anthem. Also, their coach’s name is Lyle Allen but they call him Butch. I gotta tell ya, Jesus, I don’t understand much about any of this.

Speaking of things we don’t understand, can you tell me why these volunteers keep a trashcan on their sidelines? I hear it’s a special celebration for when they force a turnover. Uhhhh, because forcing the turnover isn’t enough celebration? You have to dunk a football in a trashcan instead? Maybe folks are on to something with that whole garbage man thing after all. Either way seems pretty weak compared to our “Savage” vest.

Infant deity, we have to have a little talk.

We all know that in all of time, in all the lands, you have only made two mistakes. Donald Trump and the color orange. It occurs to me as I tell you this that they are one in the same. If ya think on it, those Gators, those Eagle Plainsmen, those Tigers from that other conference, I mean, the list goes on, baby Lord, of the tackiest folks on the planet and the unifier between all of ‘em bein’ orange. As I said before, I know folks like to make fun of garbage men conventions here, but frankly Lordlet, garbage men have taken trash out of the world while these orange folks, ‘specially that Donny, ARE the trash. At least I’m glad they’re keeping their pumpkiny abomination in Knoxville this year and not bringing it to dear ol’ Athens!

We’re not going to talk about last year, Jesus. Your mom was obviously under a lot of pressure when she heard their call and let them make that catch. If you could just talk to her for us this year. No more of those, please. Unless they’re for the Dawgs. Then hail your mom all day! Tell her we’ll be sure to send a card on your birthday this year and we hope she’s doing well.

Jesus, we come to you today to ask for a mulligan on our last meet-up with these Tennesseeans. That you continue to put the maximum magic in Fromm, protect our defense who are stronger than any wall any orange person could ever build, and Jesus, well, I can’t believe it, but thank ya from all of us for Coach Kirby. Why, it surely is the finest thing in the land to be a Georgia fan this season.

In your comin’ down the tracks name we pray,

AMEN AND GO DAWGS!

Editor’s note: please Jesus, don’t make our other Pretty Southern contributor, Mandy Morgan cry again. She was pretty pitiful in 2015 when the Dawgs lost in Knoxville

Editor’s note: today is UGA’s first SEC matchup of the 2017 season, and blessedly we still haven’t played any teams in our division, the SEC East. Dear God, let’s make sure we get this team ready to beat the pants off Tennessee, Florida, and South Carolina. No one cares about Kentucky. Now onto today’s prayer.

 

Dear 8lb, 9oz immaculately conceived ruler of all and creator of the SEC,

Let us start this prayer by giving praise for Royce for keepin’ us on the righteous path last weekend! Y’all had a great chat and we so appreciate that W. Today, Royce’s good wife, Dori, and I are coming to you from your home on Earth, Athens, GA.

What a day for the first SEC match up, Lordlet! Today, our Bulldogs take on, well, Jesus, this sure is confusing…some OTHER Bulldogs? What? I hope they’re not that silly French kind. I mean, if you’re gonna be a dog, be a DAWG, Jesus. Otherwise, you’re just a p…oh, um…cat. You are just a cat.

Besides, best I can tell our Bulldogs got their start in 1785 while these false prophets from Mississippi didn’t come around until the late 1800’s. Worse than cats, tiny leader, THEY ARE COPY CATS.

Do you know what else I’ve learned, Lordlet? They bring COWBELLS to their games. Even though they are banned, mostly for bein’ annoyin’. Ugh. Their college started as some cotton-pickers club and now they’re going to bring their gross redneck traditions to our Sanford Stadium. I know they’re only used to having to listen to 60,000 of them, but we just won’t have it in OUR house. Where the REAL Bulldogs play.

Little Jesus, these ol’ cat-dogs come from some strange place called Starkville. DUH, GUYS. It’s called Winterfell. Get it right. Also, the only thing to ever come out of this wrongly-named Starkville that anyone has ever heard of is Ronald Reagan. A DANG REPUBLICAN AND NOT AT ALL FROM THE SOUTH, Jesus. I can’t believe they even let the guy in!

Speaking of guys we don’t let in, Dan Mullen used to coach at FLORIDA! Can you imagine? (We won’t talk about Coach Kirby or where he comes from today, if that’s alright with you, small saint. Just focusing on the task at hand.) They’re basically Gators playing in South Carolina colors. NO WAY they deserve to beat our boys in the red and black, little leader.

With hearts that bleed for Georgia, Jesus, we ask that you continue to guide Coach K, keep that fire in Fromm, and protect that incredible defense of ours. More long runs, more one-handed catches, maybe less Brice Ramsey. Thank you for this glorious day! For these moments between the Hedges. For our Always Home.

We’ll see ya at the Chapel Bell, Jesus!

AMEN AND GO DAWGS!

PS. Jesus, have you seen Gurley in the NFL this season? HOLY SMOKES!