Pretty Southern – Page 49 – Love the South

Pretty Southern

Praying for UGA vs. Mizzou

Dear 8lb, 9oz, baby savior wearin’ tiny little hobnail boots,

Throwback to 2014 when the Dawgs beat the Tigers in Sanford Stadium. The “tres” were for Todd Gurley

Well Jesus, I have to start by saying you gave us quite a scare last week!

For a minute we thought you’d forsaken us, but we shoulda known better than to doubt you. Thanks for that W. That said, I know you love to have fun, wee ruler, but maybe a few less shenanigans this game?

We’re off to Missouri this week, Jesus! Did you have fun on the flight, baby Lord? I hope you and Coach Kirby sat down over a bourbon, errrr, over a nice glass of milk, and talked about our plan for the day. Maybe a little guidance on the quarterback conundrum, hmmmmmm? I’m sure the littlest creator of Athens and the whole Universe knows just what we should do.

Jesus, I gotta tell ya, I’m pretty tired of Tigers.

I mean, CAN WE GET AN ORIGINAL MASCOT UP IN THIS HOUSE? And these guys are the worst of all. Everyone know tigers are black and orange. (Ew, Jesus, orange, I’m sorry, but not one of your better inventions) These guys are black and gold dart. Um. Gold dart? What? Is their school newspaper called the Gold Dart & Black? I’m sorry, Lord, but that’s just plain dumb.

Speaking of dumb, I’ve been saying this for years, little deity, but Missouri ain’t in the Southeast. It is in the North Middle, Jesus, and therefore they don’t deserve to play in our sacred conference. They don’t even say y’all up there! I’m sorry that SOMEBODY failed geography, but these folks are Yankees and we won’t let them forget it.

On the top of the list of other things we can’t forget, teeny leader, is that Barry Odom has been coaching high school football, pretty much since he left Missouri the first time.

I hear he used to coach for some Memphis team, but from what I’ve read, he mostly worked the back office. I’m sorry, Jesus, but this guy just can’t carry weight against our own Coach K! High school football is for BABIES! I mean, not holy #blessed babies like you, infant messiah, like REAL icky babies who just lay around and can’t do much.

I’m really just hoping the odds are in our favor on this one, small god. We’ve played against these fellas fives times now, and we’ve won FOUR of those times, specifically, the last two. Ooh, Jesus, do you remember that time in 2014 when we totally shut them out 34-0. You may remember another reason why 34 is a sacred number to us Bulldogs, Jesus, so I think it’s a sign that we are meant to repeat that performance.

Bless the boys in RED (because again, what is gold dart) and black as they leave our beautiful, Southern home to take on some poser tigers, small saint. Help us to hunker, keep Chubb safe (and fast), and let whoever is throwin’ our football be the biggest, BADDEST Leroy Brown Mizzou’s ever seen! They call themselves the Show Me state, so I think we oughtta.

In your Glory, Glory singin’ name we pray,

GO DAWGS!

September 17, 2016
A Prayer for UGA vs. Nicholls State

Dear 8lb, 9oz, teeny tiny Jesus, sittin’ over there ‘tween the hedges, just sippin’ on a Holy Water…

Good morning, Lord!

Today is a day you indeed have made. I already know you’re having a good one, as today is the day you get to visit your vacation home, Sanford Stadium!!

What a beautiful sight our little city is on Game Day, baby Jesus! Thank you for Athens and all the folks in their Saturday best and for inventing the Breakfast Beer, great pocket-sized pious one!

Woo-eee, Jesus! Did ya see us last week!?

Thanks for THAT! Whatever bug you put in Coach Kirkby’s britches worked! (I think that little bug’s name is Nick Chubb, for the record.) We’re off to a great start and can’t wait to spend the season honoring your love of the Georgia Bulldogs!

Today, Lord, we take on the Colonels from Nicholls State. Honestly, small savior, I don’t even know where to start with these kids. How about that their website is geauxcolonels.com?

JESUS! There’s nothing more annoying.

All those people from Louisiana spell everything WRONG! Is their entire team on academic probation? Can’t even spell Go. Gracious, littlest savior.

Speaking of Louisiana, petite ruler, where exactly is Thibodaux? AGAIN WITH THE X!

It sounds like the swamp to me. We only fight one gross team from the swamp every season, Jesus, and that’s those darn Gators. I hear we paid them half a million dollars for this game, small blessed one! I reckon it’s because they had to buy a bunch of those hover boats to get here.

Just LISTEN to what I read about their mascot, mini manger-dweller! UH-parrently, it used to be a Confederate soldier! We all know that ain’t right. So, instead of praying to you for good guidance, they paid a buncha money for a new mascot and NOW HE’S A NAZI! Also! Their logo has a big, sharp sword through it, Jesus! We just don’t tolerate that kind of business here. Sounds violent.

Bless our boys in red in black, today, wee leader! Give Eason a chance to shine! And please, dear Lord, give Chubb a chance to run!

There really is nothin’ finer in the land than these beautiful days filled with friends, BBQ, (maybe a little booze, in moderation of course) and the best darn college football team in the best darn college football conference!!

In your Chapel Bell ringin’ name we pray,

GO DAWGS!

September 10, 2016
UGA vs. UNC – A Prayer for the College Football Kickoff

Dear 8lb, 9oz tiny baby Jesus in the manger dome

JESUS! CAN YOU BELIEVE FOOTBALL SEASON IS HERE?!

I mean! HOLY GUACAMOLE (that’s your favorite kind, right? GET IT, Jesus? Of course you do.) It’s the very best time of the year (besides your birthday party). OH MY GOSH. Back. In. Action. And right here in the best darn city outside of the sweet utopia, our beloved Athens.

First, a tiny moment, Lord, let’s play for CMR. He was a Damn Good Dawg. Please bless Coach Richt’s season in Miami.

Ok, baby Jesus, let’s start with the most obvious question… What THE EFF WORD is a Tarheel? I’m sorry, Jesus, but that. sounds. RIDICULOUS. I did some research just to double-check, Jesus. It means they stand like they have tar on their heels.

Soooo, they’re moderately sticky? What a stupid thing to be. I mean, WOO. GO Sticky Feet Guys. No, Jesus. Just no.

Also. Littlest savior. Ummm, did it occur to anyone else that their mascot looks kinda like…uhhh…you know who…down there..in um…Hell? THEIR MASCOT LOOKS LIKE DANG SATAN, JESUS. I know that evildoing just won’t fly against our own precious Uga. No sireee. Devil ain’t welcome HERE.

In addition to their stupid mascot, their coach is named Larry Fedora. I mean, Jesus, he is LITERALLY Mr. Hat.

And now you can never not hear Mr. Garrison and that’s what I imagine him to sound like in the locker room. Coach Fedora. Know who wore a Fedora? Bear Bryant. And we all know what we think about THAT guy.

Since we brought up Captain Houndstooth, Small God, I guess we have to talk about Kirby Smart.

Oh, Jesus, I know you said love thy neighbor, but shoot! He makes it awful hard. I also know we’re probably going to win games with him, Lord, but if you could please help him to win our hearts. Our team has struggled and we lost our leader (well, our other leader, of course) and we NEED Coach Kirby to lead us on home to the promised land! More importantly, we need him to understand the Promised Land is Athens and not that darn Tuscaloosa. Ew, Jesus, Alabama.

Bless those boys in their britches, Jesus. Keep Chubb injury healing well thanks to the pain CBD gummies, protect our starting quarterback, whoever he is, and let’s see about that Holyfield livin’ up to his daddy’s name.

Let’s start this season off with the sorta game that woulda had Larry on his toes. Let’s make Coach Richt proud. Let’s show those dumb sticky feet how we do it in the SEC.

In your mean machine name we pray,

GO DAWGS!

September 2, 2016
The New Terminus: Google Fiber Channels to Atlanta

Terminus is the original name for the city of Atlanta.

In ancient Roman mythology, Terminus was the god of boundaries. The Latin word “termini” means “end of the line.” The history of Terminus goes way beyond “The Walking Dead”. Many native Southerners know that Terminus was the first name for the city of Atlanta. But how did such a name ever come about?

Here’s a brief history of Atlanta. The city was called Terminus because it was the end of the railroad line.

In 1836, the Georgia General Assembly voted to build the Western and Atlantic Railroad in order to provide a link between the port of Savannah and the Midwest. An engineer surveyed possible routes and drove his stake, the “zero milepost” into what is now Five Points.

In 1837, Terminus springs up around this area. Atlanta was briefly named “Thrasherville” for John Thrasher who built homes and the general store. By 1842, Atlanta was called “Marthasville” as it now had six buildings and 30 residents. It was proposed to rename the area “Atlantica-Pacifica” in honor of the railroad but is shorted to Atlanta. By 1847, Atlanta was its official name.

Today, Atlanta continues to own its nickname “Silicon Valley South”. Fellow Atlanta tech afficiandoes have been excited about the coming of Google Fiber for the past year. In anticipation of the launch of Google Fiber in Atlanta, the Google team recently debuted this fantastic video: “Together for Atlanta:60”

“Well you know, the city started at the intersection of two railroad tracks. We’ve always been a crossroads.”

Iconic Atlanta locations featured in the video include Piedmont Park, Ebeneezer Baptist Church (where Martin Luther King Jr. preached), The Fox Theatre, The Varsity, the Georgia Aquarium, and one of our favorite charities PowerMyLearning – which provides computers and STEM education to kids in Atlanta.

Here’s a full transcript from the Google Fiber Video:

“Hey, Atlanta. Hi, Atlanta. What’s up, Atlanta?

There’s so much possibility here. Google fiber is a big opportunity for us. Well you know, the city started at the intersection of two railroad tracks. We’ve always been a crossroads

Super fast internet is such a powerful tool for sharing ideas. I’m always on the lookout for mobile plans that offer just that. It’ll help bring us even closer together.

We’ll support the things that we really care about. Making it easier for everyone to learn.
Keeping families connected. Local flavor, by keeping it strong.

It’s for Midtown. Little Five Points. Sweet Auburn. In all our neighborhoods.

It’s for all of us.

Together.”

Kudos to Google and their team for this awesome Atlanta tribute. We’re excited for the fastest internet in the South!

August 20, 2016
Jeffrey Fashion Cares – Atlanta

Jeffrey Fashion Cares is the biggest fashion event of the year in Atlanta.

The 24th annual Jeffrey Fashion Cares is founded by acclaimed retailer and style icon, Jeffrey Kalinsky. This year’s event is co-chaired by Lila Hertz, Jeffrey McQuithy and Louise Sams.

Jeffrey Fashion Cares 2016 will be held on Monday, Aug. 29 at 7 p.m. at Phipps Plaza. It’s incredible to see Buckhead’s premier shopping destination transformed with an incredible runway. The evening will begin with a pre-show cocktail reception where guests can mix and mingle, followed by a silent and live auction, then the most dazzling fashion show in the South. Designers to be featured for this year’s event include Lanvin, Celine, Christian Dior, Givenchy, Gucci, Valentino, Dries van Noten, Saint Laurent Paris, Balenciaga, Christian Louboutin and Manolo Blahnik.

Fashion Cares is true to its name, as this glamorous evening is all for the benefit of Susan G. Komen Greater Atlanta and the Atlanta AIDS Fund (AAF). It’s one of the largest combined AIDS and breast cancer benefits in the country. Last year’s sold-out event raised $700,000!

A sampling of this year’s silent and live auction items includes:

· Vogue Fantasy Trip for Two to NYC – One of the most iconic and prolific fashion magazines in the world, two lucky patrons will get to attend an exclusive event at New York Fashion Week. The package includes airfare, hotel and lunch with a Vogue Market Stylist.

· Private Jet Experience and an Atlanta Falcons Game – More than $9000 value, take a deluxe private jet to and from Atlanta to Philadelphia to watch the Falcons take on the Eagles at Lincoln Financial Field on Sunday, November 13, 2016.

· South African Safari at Thulani Game Lodge & Eco Estate – This once in a lifetime experience includes lodging for two couples for one week, two game drives per day, and breakfast daily prepared by a personal chef. The luxuriously beautiful lodge features five impeccably-appointed bedrooms, elegant ensuite baths, a private wine chamber and a falling waters pool.

· Crystal Cruises “Azure Reflections” Voyage – An all-inclusive, 10-day luxury cruise for two aboard Crystal Cruises’ Six-Star ship, Crystal Serenity, from Barbados/Bridgetown, British West Indies to Miami, FL.

· MONIQUE PÉAN Earrings – Known for creating fine jewelry with this cuban link necklace conscience, Péan employs unusual, ethically sourced materials to create her avant-garde designs and works to raise awareness of global issues. For this year’s Jeffrey Fashion Cares live auction, Péan has donated a stunning pair of earrings valued at more than $21,000.

· Four VIP Passes to LIVE! With Kelly

· Four VIP Passes to Good Morning America

· Marc Jacobs Snapshot Double Take signature camera bag.

· Marc Jacobs West End Top Handle Shoulder Handbag.

· Barton Perreira and Tom Ford sunglasses.

· Eva Fehren necklace with a signature “X” beveled pendant in 18K yellow gold.

The official kick-off to the fall social season, Jeffrey Fashion Cares was founded by Jeffrey Kalinsky, arbiter of style and creator of two namesake boutiques in Atlanta and Manhattan. Jeffrey Fashion Cares will once again be held at Phipps Plaza Phipps Plaza at 3500 Peachtree Road, Atlanta, GA 30326.

A special thank you to the 2016 sponsors including: Host of the Night – Phipps Plaza; Bespoke – Nordstrom; and Presenting – Blue Sky Agency, eventologie, Jeffrey Atlanta | New York, MAGNUM Co., Porsche, SPANX, and The Tavern at Phipps.

The Pretty Southern squad was privileged to attend the VIP Patron party earlier this summer on the rooftop at SPANX corporate headquarters in Atlanta. We absolutely can’t wait to see what’s in store on Aug. 29! Tickets and Patron and Sponsors Packages are available starting at $500. Stay connected on Twitter, on Facebook, and Instagram.

August 17, 2016
The Wizard of Oz at The Fox Theare

Editor’s Note: this post was contributed by Mallory Strange

The Wizard of Oz is not in Kansas anymore, rather, at The Fox Theatre.

The national tour of this quintessential musical stopped by The Fabulous Fox in Atlanta earlier this summer.
As a child, all I wanted was to grow up and be able to click my sparkly red slippers together and travel to any magical destination just like Dorothy. Well here I am, now grown up, and I haven’t yet experienced this beautiful phenomenon, but yesterday I was able to experience the next best thing: Seeing The Wizard of Oz show at The Fox Theatre.

This new production put a spin on the classic Wizard of Oz movie, adding in a thrilling musical element, and recreating it for the big stage. I was able to rediscover my love for the Wizard of Oz in this wonderful musical that was great for the entire family. Lions, tigers, and bears, (oh my?) weren’t the only things making this production amazing, the cast, the visuals, and the venue is really something that you must see.

I am new to Atlanta, so previous to this I hadn’t ever been to the Fox theatre, so to say this experience amazed me is an understatement. The beautiful design of the night sky on the ceiling of the venue, along with all of the immaculate details all over the interior of the theatre absolutely blew me away. If the Wizard of Oz show doesn’t blow you away (which is unlikely) then the Fox Theatre surely will!

The Wizard of Oz original movie is celebrating it’s 75th anniversary this year and the show is kicking that off with a tour through North America. The show is comprised of 30 cast members and the tour is ending in Tampa, Fla., later this summer. Don’t miss your chance to see this musical extravaganza in Atlanta while you can!

About Mallory

Mallory Strange is a North Carolina native turned Georgia peach. She is a small town girl with big city dreams and a lover of the finer things in life. She has an obsession for travel, passion for dance, and a love of adventure. Follow her on Twitter @malstrangee and Instagram @malstrange

August 10, 2016